I’m excited to finally be writing about the things I like to write about every day, and I’m grateful for the people who read it. If you’re finding yourself smiling at something I wrote, or if I make you laugh, SUBSCRIBE & tell a friend! Click the HACK MY CPU button below so that you will receive my posts as soon as they come out!
Suggestion: It’s probably more natural to read the entire post and then check out the links after you’re done.
Let’s get into it!
YouTube Videos That Age Well:
The bulk of us associate the Information Age with Millennials, and Generation Z or X. Different pockets of the web amass different types of audiences. For the most part, these users are largely set apart by age. YouTube, however, is a place where people of ALL AGES find themselves documenting their lives, passions, and opinions. Often, I seem to find myself watching videos made by people wayyy out of my age range. I’m not sure how these videos find me, but I am glad they have. I’ve concluded that the YouTube algorithm has to be one of the most prolific and eccentric of all social media algorithms. Here’s your proof:
Vaseline & Pretty Colors
Here is an unironically enjoyable video. As I hear her slowly recite the names of the alcohol inks “danger… red pepper… sunshine yellow… meadow, this one is called stream, this one is called sunset orange,” I feel grateful that I can watch people do peculiar things on the internet without even having to know their name or what they look like. Anonymity is a beautiful thing.
Insert Generic CTA here… Spring Into Action?
Please skip to 1:10. This is a video I discovered some years ago while working at a security desk for my college. There was a little TV inside the office that I would watch from time to time. Aside from the news, it mostly aired terrible infomercials. This was one of them. It was the sort of commercial I would see on TV in the early 2000s; super monotone, super low budget. The majority of the commercial is pretty terrible until you skip to 1:10 and see the skier hop out of frame. Immediately afterward, I remember frantically looking it up on YouTube so that I could send it to a few of my friends whom I knew would find it absurdly hilarious. God bless the internet.
Peanut butter jelly sandwiches cut to size, so they can fit in these little chubby raccoons’ hands. That’s it, that’s the video.
“You’re pretty much stuck with each other for the duration…. but durations are relative so be a good cheer!” was her response to her Opposum Apple’s psychic reading request. I found this woman’s YouTube channel through an “opossum lady” reel on Instagram. This is how I imagine you perceive my content when you’re reading my blog, and if you don’t, consider it reference material.
Another psychic reading here… please let me know if this one ends up resonating with anyone. I couldn’t relate, but this might strike a chord with someone else.
Five to Seven Reasons Why I Would Smash Jim Hatfield.
Big, huge, tall, square big bodied, man (as described by the author).
Is a lone wolf. Very hot. I’m imagining an enemies to lovers story between us, like Matthew Quigley and Crazy Cora in Quigly Down Under. Now that I mention it, I probably won’t be able to picture Jim Hatfield as anyone but young Tom Selleck from now on.
Natural leader… Liked by many, hated by many.
Will persevere. Literally rides his great sorrel through desert flames and dust storms; picks up big huge fat guys and carries them out of burning buildings.
Is a Texas Ranger. Also smart. Has an engineering degree somehow??? Not sure how common this was back in this era but, period. Love a man with a title.
Will probably leave me in the dust. I love a good wanting and yearning spell, even though I officially parted with the yearning side of me in this post.
Rolls his own cigarettes (love to see a guy use his hands to do lil stuff like this. Not as fond of the cigs but how else is a cowboy supposed to contemplate)
Songs That Sound Like Stories (aka songs that I listen to once a month because I have trouble finding new music)
Slum Village - Selfish
Upbeat narrative detailing the joys of remembered experience. The artists joyfully lament over all of the beautiful women who have come and gone.
UGK - Int'l Players Anthem ft. Outkast
I know it’s not an Andre song but any time I hear him rapping I imagine that he’s reading to me from a big huge storybook. It’s so smooth and conversational. Keep yo heart three stacks… keep yo heart.
50 Cent - In Da Club
This one has nothing to do with stories, the beat is just dumb as hell. Terrible beat, but nonetheless a true classic. Can’t unhear this courtesy of my brother youey.
The Notorious B.I.G. - I Got A Story To Tell
Literally telling a story here.
Signing out,
T.H.